This post goes out to Nobody.
It’s assumed, somewhat accurately, that Nobody reads this blog.
That’s OK. It gets captured somewhere for posterity. And anyway, I get it off my chest and then I feel better.
There are people who say stupid things. I will venture that in fact that number comprises 100% of the human race. Saying something stupid is simply part of being human. We have jaw muscles and they sometimes work faster than our brain muscle.
Sometimes we really just want to take the whole thing back, think about it a bit longer, and try again.
Isn’t it somewhat ironic that people judge each other for such slips? After all, none of us and I mean none of us wants to have to defend every single thing we utter.
What’s the basis of all of this? John Mayer and Morris O’Kelly.
Mayer, you probably know, said some stupid and insensitive things in his Playboy interview, most of which would have been ignored within a few days, except he had the unfortunate lack of wisdom to invoke race.
Morris, an African American man, is almost always quick to pounce on stupid things white people say which invoke race.
He likes to use words such as “inexcusable” and “unacceptable.” Which I take to mean: He isn’t inviting Mayer over for Sunday chowdowns anymore.
No, of course, Morris’ larger point is that we as a society cannot permit people to get away with being insensitive to the black experience.
Hey, I’m down with respecting the black experience.
AND I’ve been known to be stupidly insensitive. I once told a black guy I was playing Monopoly with that it was cool that he could get to be the plantation owner.
Off the chart stupid. I got called before the commander for that remark. I was 19.
Old enough to know better but far too inexperienced to realize that there are some places you just can’t go.
Ah, but I learned. Those singed fingers have a way of conveying a lesson.
Morris either misunderstood Mayer’s remarks to Playboy, or Morris deliberately twisted those words, because what Mayer said was this:
Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
The headline of Morris’ first post on this was: “JOHN MAYER SAYS HE HAS A ‘N***** PASS’”
Well, no he didn’t, as I explained to Morris. Morris did not change the headline. So at that point, whatever the original intent, it became a lie.
So, Mayer said some really stupid things and Morris lied about it. Morris also published several other posts on the topic, and as of Monday, February 15 he was still Tweeting about it.
I have no issue with those who were deeply offended by Mayer’s remarks, including his invocation of “white supremacy.”
He thought it was clever. Like I did about the plantations.
He wasn’t clever, he was stupid. It wasn’t funny, it was offensive.
And so we learn.
But to listen to Morris, not only is Mayer beyond redemption, but it is clear to Morris that Mayer actually disrespects black people and may be a racist.
So he responds to being offended by being offensive.
I abhor this zero-sum approach to life lessons. There does not have to be a dead body in order for us to learn from an experience. It is not necessary to pillory Mayer in order to make the larger point that words matter.
No sane, rational person can possibly conclude that Mayer has the slightest malice toward blacks, based on the Playboy interview or any other source. It becomes a massive cheap shot as well as an ugly smear to “go there”.
Morris will argue that Mayer “went there first.”
No, Morris, he didn’t. He tried to be clever, said something stupid, had no intention to cause the mess he caused and would really like to clean it up.
Morris will say “He hasn’t tried hard enough.”
But wait a minute, Morris: Weren’t those words “inexcusable” and “unacceptable”? So what could Mayer say to win back your respect?
“I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE!!!”
Would that do it?