(With a loving nod to Gilda Radner, gone too soon and forever a brilliant light…)

“We now turn over the microphone to our guest editorialist, Miss Emily Litella, who has some important views to share with us. Miss Litella:”

“Thank you, Cheddar. I’m good and worked up over this. I keep hearing about all this effort to get rid of small pirates, and it got me to thinking, maybe they can’t do anything else! I mean, it must be difficult to go through life as a small person, never being able to reach the top shelf, needing special cars for small people, and so forth. It’s a hard life, just think about it! Now I say, let’s not punish the small pirates, let’s embrace them! Make them feel special, even though they’re small. Perhaps if we spend more time building up their self esteem and less time making them feel that they can’t do anything right, it just might bring about a better…”

“..Uh, Miss Litella.”

“Yes, Cheddar?”

“Miss Litella, that’s Somali Pirates.”

“Salami? That doesn’t make any sense. Who likes salami enough to…”

“No, Miss Litella, SOMALI. From Somalia. It’s a country on the African coast.”

“Oh, oh I see. Are they small?”

“I believe they’re regular size. They hijack cargo intended for foreign destinations, and they hold the ship and crew for ransom. Sometimes they kill innocent people. When goods don’t get through to their intended destination, people suffer.”

“Suffer? Oh, that’s bad. I’m not in favor of that.”

“No, I don’t think that anybody believes that you…”

“Somali? Not small? I see…well…that’s very different, isn’t it?

Nevermind.”

Where did your long hair go
Where is the girl I used to know
How could you lose that happy glow
Oh, caroline no

Who took that look away
I remember how you used to say
Youd never change, but thats not true
Oh, caroline you

Break my heart
I want to go and cry
Its so sad to watch a sweet thing die
Oh, caroline why

Could I ever find in you again
Things that made me love you so much then
Could we ever bring em back once they have gone
Oh, caroline no
(c) Brian Wilson, 1966

I will honestly admit that I was stunned when Caroline Kennedy, who we all adore, well those of us over 40, anyway, announced her “candidacy” for the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by Hillary Clinton.

I was stunned because Caroline (sorry, I just can’t call her “Kennedy”) had never shown the slightest inclination to be in the public eye in this way. Stunned because, where was her experience in this arena? Gene pool? That may have worked in an earlier time, not in these modern times where information is old after ten minutes. 

Stunned because it seemed such a clumsy move.

One thing is certain about the Kennedy clan: they know politics. So, it can be said, does the Clinton clan. How was it possible that these two clans didn’t come together, take the political temperature for such a suggestion, and quickly advise Caroline that while her public service ambition was admirable, perhaps she should offer that service in some other way?

Now, some of the shine will inevitably come off of this sublime human being, quite unfairly but necessarily. Governor Patterson is quite right to select Andrew Cuomo, who has live his life in New York, who has held several state offices, and whose father was a beloved Governor of New York, turned down a Supreme Court seat, and is still among the most popular living New Yorkers. If Caroline had received the appointment instead of Cuomo, the Democratic Party in New York would have unraveled right before our eyes. [Note: Paterson came out of left field with his actual pick. See below.]

Rightly so.

Kudos to Governor Patterson for keeping his head down and weighing his choice carefully, and for resisting any pressure which may have been brought to bear, to take Caroline for her star power or for her family’s long commitment to public service. Although it won’t be announced until Saturday, the word is on the street that it’s Cuomo, which is why Caroline has withdrawn her name. [New word on the street, according to today's NY Times: "Mr. Paterson, according to two well-placed Democrats told of his thinking, was leaning toward selecting Representative Kirsten E. Gillibrand, an upstate lawmaker in her second term in Congress."]

Now that she’s stuck her neck out, however, it would be undortunate if Caroline went back into hiding. Sure, time will pass and people will forget, but when they do remember, her legacy would be one of a clumsy stumble and then retreat.

Better that she take her “personal time”, let her uncle’s illness take its course, and then ask her own governor or her president if either of them has any use for her services, in a volunteer or appointed position, wherever her passion for service may lie.

A star is a star, and Caroline will ever be thus. She and her little brother kept a nation stitched together at it’s most shattered moment. Daddy’s gone, Mommy’s gone, Junior’s gone. They’re all gone.

All we have is Caroline, our sweet Caroline.